After Grandma died, when my aunt was sorting through her belongings, she found a well-worn paperback novel on the bed stand.  Inside the jacket cover, in Grandma’s distinctive handwriting, was inscribed: “My favourite book of all times”, signed: “Jean Thompson”.

For a family of curious women, this old book with Grandma’s declaration has intrigued us.  I don’t remember Grandma mentioning this book yet it obviously had great meaning for her.  Since discovering it a couple of months ago, we’ve passed this old book around the family, each of us wanting to read the actual copy that Grandma had obviously paged through many times herself. 

The book is called “A Woman of Independent Means” by American novelist and playwright Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey.  Released in 1978 and her first novel, it was an unexpected bestseller and later became a play and TV miniseries.  The story is told exclusively via letters written by the main character Bess Steed Garner throughout her lifetime – primarily in the first half of the 20^th century at a time when the art of letter-writing was a regular and meaningful conduit between people. 

Bess is a memorable character – strong, sometimes overly domineering and opinionated but always loving and optimistic even after facing great tragedies.   One actually has the sense of having walked in her shoes by the end.  A prominent woman who loves travel and adores family, her need to control extends well into her twilight years demonstrated when she buys crypts for the entire family and writes her own obituary for the Dallas Morning News years before her death.  Outliving two husbands and one son, she revels in the new life of her family as she bonds with her grandchildren and marvels at the arrival of great-grandchildren, commenting: “It is such a miracle to see another generation coming to consciousness.” (p.273) 

Having read this book now myself, I concur that it is a great novel and well worth picking up if you haven’t read it.  However, a woman of 92 who had read countless books in her lifetime has credited this as her “favourite book of all times”.  This is a large statement and I wonder what it was that spoke so deeply to my grandmother.

The era of the story, the fascinating female character, and the lens to her experiences through a lifetime of personal letters must have all appealed to Grandma.  The main character, Bess, was born almost 30 years before Grandma so I also wonder if she was intrigued not only by commonalities with her own life experiences but also by a view into the life of a previous generation of women, possibly connecting her with her own mother or grandmother. 

Grandma actually underlined in dark blue ink, three completely different and unrelated passages within the book which provide some more clues:

p.84: “But do not count on others to convince you your life matters.  All of us are finally alone with only a single opinion to sustain us – our own.”

- Like Bess Steed Garner, my grandmother Jean Earle Perry Thompson was never shy about expressing her opinion and many of her descendants share that trait.  Although, this passage is really more about being self-sufficient ‘emotionally’ and self-confident… advice I will take to heart.

p.170: “It is my opinion that every couple contemplating marriage should be required to sign a contract before being issued a license.”

- Similarly to Bess, Grandma’s second husband was not the father of her children which might give one a different view of a marriage contract, even for this earlier generation…  also, perhaps Grandma related to the idea of a first marriage being for love and a second, more practical in nature..

p.176: “I would like to believe that the soul sets out on a journey of its own long before the body ceases to breathe so that by the time those left behind begin to mourn, our traveler has already embarked in another country.”

- no doubt, Grandma was introspective about death and what would come afterwards although she never shared those thoughts with me.  Whenever I would ask her how she was, her most common response was: “Oh, I’m fine dear, let’s talk about you…”

Another interesting angle to me is that Mrs. Hailey has credited her maternal grandmother as the inspiration for “A Woman of Independent Means”.…and now, here I am inquiring about my maternal grandmother’s passion for this novel…

As a writer myself, I don’t think there could be a greater compliment that anyone could give a writer than the one my grandmother inscribed in her paperback - so I must find a way to deliver this one to Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey.

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