Gratitude

Butterflies and other Miracles

I am beginning to realize how oblivious I’ve been to the perfection all around me, to every day miracles.  With a busy life and ever churning mind, who cares what kind of trees are in my neighbourhood?  Who takes time to notice the immense beauty in the minute details of our four season climate with glittering snow on bare branches, sprouts and blossoms glistening with rain in the spring, or lavish green growth, wildflowers and butterflies in the summer?   I’m embarrassed that the answer is “ME” but that’s changing.  Next I will experience the rich colours of autumn with new eyes now that I am finally paying attention..

I realize this probably sounds crazy to those who have always been present and aware of the wonders around them, who know exactly what trees and blossoms and flowers bloom when, and to people who watch the flying creatures in our world, who perhaps have birdfeeders and binoculars and are able to identify the various species, following their habits and listening to their songs.

But it is possible to be conscious of all this and at the same time, unimpressed, if you’ve never looked closely enough.  I have to credit a new hobby with helping me to experience my surroundings with new wonder – photography.  It started with video editing and then an idea about a new way to tell a story using accompanying illustrations by taking staged scenes outdoors with my ‘imaginary friends’.  (More on this topic in a future blog).   Then came a burgeoning curiousity about the variety of trees and bushes, creeks, ponds, and lakes, flowers and blossoms, grasses and bulrushes, and all the creatures that lived among them.

Since then, I’ve had a few chance ‘encounters’ that have hooked me for good.

I took vacation during the first two weeks of July at our getaway home in Collingwood on Silver Creek. Co-hosting a ‘rubber duck race and wing ding/bbq’ was a busy start but, after that, it was a relaxing vacation intermixed with golf, quiet nights and some day trips.

Tiger Swallowtail

On July 5th, golfing at Osler Brook with my sister, mother, and aunt, I saw my first Tiger Swallowtail.  If I’d ever seen one before, I
didn’t look closely enough for it to register in my mind.  As they are common to this area, I don’t know how I could have missed them.  I’ve since seen them featured on book covers and cards but with this encounter, I was like a child awakened to the world.  The vibrant yellow and black butterfly was flitting about and drinking from a Butterfly bush (who knew there was such a plant?) With my new camera handy in the golf cart, I was able to capture this moment so here is my first new friend.  I loved this picture and stared it many times over the following days.

 

49th Birthday Gift

A few days later, on July 9th (my birthday), I was sitting alone on our back porch with my camera when I heard loud rustling in the woods near the creek on our property.  I’m ashamed to admit that if this had happened last year, I probably would have run into the house and peered at it through the window.  Instead, I moved a little closer and had my first encounter with a deer.  I thought when this doe saw me, it would run the other way but instead, it was curious and came around to the edge of the woods to stare at me.  By this time, I had carefully walked down the yard to get a better view and was able to get a few good pictures of my new friend.   I’m afraid I’m the one who bolted first, never having been brave around wild animals.   I was surprised at how bold this deer was, not only staring at me but advancing.  A few minutes later, after I chastised myself, I was back outside but it was gone.  I’ve never seen a deer before or since on our property but it was a lovely birthday gift.  Whenever I see this picture, it fills me with wonder.

So, now I am reluctant to go anywhere without my camera close by and I’ve had two more butterfly encounters.  On the golf course again, I met another Swallowtail but this one was Black!  Who knew there were a variety of different types of Swallowtails?  Okay, probably many of you knew but I didn’t.  Here’s the Black Swallowtail

Black Swallowtail

having lunch.  (Of course, I was in the middle of a Match Play competition when I came across this creature but I have my priorities right.  And yes, we subsequently lost the match.. 🙂 )

After this second beautiful butterfly picture, I was determined to get a picture of a Monarch which is the only kind that I actually knew by name before this summer.  The Monarchs teased me for weeks, flitting by on the golf course, on the roads, in my parents’ yard but never stopping long enough for me to get a picture.  Then this weekend, when I least expected it, I stepped onto my back porch with my camera in hand and there was a Monarch, drinking from the Purple cornflowers at the edge of our deck.  So, say hi to my newest friend…

The Monarch

Now that I am watching the trees and flowers and creatures that are everywhere on our planet, I remember some of the lessons that I’ve blogged about, especially about being present.  Could it really be so simple as to just open your eyes and look around you?

Searching for Nirvana

As humans, we are on a collective journey to find peace and love, to live in harmony, to create a better world for our children and to surpass the limits of the form we were born into, to evolve the human spirit to new heights.  Some may call it a search for nirvana (not the 90’s grunge band!). 

Yet, why over the course of human history, and even today, is there so much violence and suffering?  Why do so many of us contribute to the discord and suffering in our daily lives and interactions with our fellow humans?  Eckhart Tolle in his truly inspiring video called “Finding Your Life’s Purpose” provides a clear, concise recipe for stopping the insanity and reaching a pure state of consciousness where we will find that collective peace and can begin to create transformation in our world.

Everything that Tolle has produced (books, DVD’s, CD’s, lectures) leads you on this path to the ultimate state of being, living in the now, present to the collective spirit and power of humanity.  If you’re not already a fan, check out his web site at www.eckharttolle.com to see everything that he has to offer.

Today I want to share some key lessons from Tolle’s DVD that struck a chord with me.

Our ‘mental noise’ distracts us from our true purpose, from reaching these heights.  Our endless thoughts, largely based on our illusions about the past, are constantly churning and often repetitive.  Most of them you have thought many, many times, and the negative ones can have more power and be more frequent than the positive ones.  We do not need to be dragged along by the mental noise, by every thought that arises. 

Instead we must be present in the now.  It is all that truly exists.  The future is an illusion, doesn’t exist except as a thought, it is a conceptual thing.   Be aware, present, find the aliveness within by putting attention on your body, on breathing in and out, on the stillness between thoughts.  Use awareness of your breathing as an anchor for being present…

The essence of our thinking mind is that it is usually thinking about the past or the future and it is conditioned by our illusions and judgements about what happened in the past.  But can you find the dimension within yourself that exists outside the thinking mind?

Our primary purpose in life does not involve time yet we find it hard to believe in a purpose that does not require expectations about the ‘future’.  My primary purpose right now is to sit in my chair, hands on the keyboard, breathe in and out and share the wonderful lessons that Tolle has given to the world.  The universe has put me here, right now, and this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing.

What you are doing, wherever you are, right now, you are fulfilling your life’s purpose yet your mind doesn’t think that makes sense…  if you’re already here, how can that be your purpose?

So to be here fully, you must align yourself with this moment in eternity, and know that wherever you are, is exactly where you’re supposed to be but this is hard because the mind will expect that everything you “do” must just be a means to an “end”.  As the “end” is in the future, which is really just a thought/concept in your mind, we can become ‘frustrated’ causing us to live in constant discontent or fear.  Being present means every moment that you are ‘doing’ or being, can be joyous and fulfilling.

Remember, our primary purpose is to be aligned with the NOW which we cannot do if we are always trapped in our minds, living only for the next thing to happen..

So, we must stop living in the phantom world of the mind, constantly judging and labelling and reviewing everything that happens and everyone we encounter (this is the insanity, the dysfunction of our existence), and believing our own stories about who we are.

Instead, be present to the other dimension of your being, to the formless presence that exists in the stillness, between thoughts, that is your very essence.  You will only find it in the NOW before consciousness becomes thought, a sense perception, your interpretation, your stories about the past, etc., etc…

Sadly, if you read our history books or watch the news, you will be reminded that the collective human ego has wreaked havoc and human suffering for millenia.  If there is no shift in our consciousness then the madness will continue.  How can our species survive unless there’s a change in our collective spirit, our consciousness?  The only way that we can affect such as a transformation is by working on our own individual consciousness.

So, from the point of view of a truly present, enlightened being, you will be able to feel the sacredness of the world around you, of our universe, the sky, the garden, the people around you but when your mind takes everything down to a conceptual state, using judgement and thought, this can deaden the beauty around you.

There is a vast power in the inner stillness of this formless dimension of consciousness.  

Achieving this state, right now, in this moment, is our ultimate life purpose..

I recommend that you get Tolle’s DVD and listen to it yourself.

Love and Peace to all…

Top Ten Tips for a Happy Life

What is “happy” and is it really attainable?  In this age of fast-paced, information overload, what do we really want from life?

I believe we want what people have always wanted.  We want to be happy.  We want to love and contribute to others.  We want to be loved.  We want to think we’re making a difference, that there’s a “reason” or purpose for our existence.

While some might argue that happy (as in merrily skipping along through life) is an overused term and not a practical goal, let’s consider happy as being peaceful and content, as being the opposite of miserable, as being empowered to be all that we can be in life, to be able to have loving and sustainable relationships.  And then, I think, everyone will agree that this is a state where we would all like to be centred.

Based on my own personal exploration into this essential quest, I’ve summarized what I view as the Top Ten tips to a Happy Life, as taught by many of the thought leaders today who are great authors, speakers, and spiritual teachers..

TOP TEN:

1. Be Present, Be Here Now

Studies suggest we have somewhere between 12,000 to 65,000 thoughts per day, although I’ve seen reference to a wider range (between 2,000 to 600,000!).   Most commonly, 50-60,000 is considered a good estimate.

Being human means being inundated with thoughts all day, every day: endless observations, judgements, interpretations, complaints, worries, ‘what-ifs’, memories, regrets, wishes, desires, dreams about our future, anger about our past, and on and on.  I’ve seen statistics indicating 95% of them are similar from day to day.  Some thoughts seem completely random, others can hijack us as we follow a thread and let our emotions react to what are sometimes completely irrational, twisted versions of reality.   For me, it has been a major breakthrough to understand that I am NOT my thoughts.  For too long, my thoughts ran me. They still try to, every single day, but I am watching them now.  I used to look to my thoughts for meaning, wondering why I was suddenly upset when nothing had happened.

So how much of an average person’s thoughts are rooted in the present moment?  Some suggest that the majority of our thoughts are rooted in the past (somewhere between 70 and 90%) with about 10-20% ruminating or dreaming or imagining what will happen in the future.  A small percentage of our thoughts actually focus on the present moment in a purely experiential manner.  Within our minds, our perception of the past, how it is affecting us now and into the future can often become warped.

Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” and other books is a well-known speaker and teacher in this area.  Tolle tells us: “Stay fully present in the now—your whole life unfolds here. In the now there is joy of Being and deep peace”.

In Deepak Chopra’s “Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, he says that pure potentiality is pure consciousness, the field of all possibilities and infinite creativity.  Meditation to connect with our inner being to be present and master our thoughts can help us to find that state of pure consciousness.

2. Your Thoughts Create your Reality

When you start to understand that you are not your thoughts, that you are a being with a powerful inner spirit that happens to also have a brain that does what brains do, non-stop generation of thoughts, you can step back and observe this and take control.  Consider how you can choose how your brain operates just as you make these decisions about using your arm or your fingers or your eyes every day of your life.

The realization that you actually could control and direct your thoughts to create whatever reality you choose can open up a whole new world.  If, for example, you tell yourself that you cannot succeed at something – then you probably won’t.  So, the obvious question is why tell yourself that?  And yet we do it all the time..

There’s so much groundbreaking work in this area over the past decade, everything from the books on the Law of Attraction (including the blockbuster work called “The Secret”) and new science indicating that thoughts are actually bits of quantum energy (see previous post “The Science behind the Mystery“), which opens up even more unbelievable implications for our potential capabilities if we can master our mind.

Louise Hay (founder of Hay House) is an inspiring example of this powerful concept in action.  Her countless books and CD’s on Affirmations show how you can change your life by the very simple practice of constantly generating positive, life-affirming thoughts.  From “Power Thoughts” by Louise Hay at www.healyourlife.com: “Trust life to hear and respond to your positive words. Say these affirmations every day and your whole world will change for the better.”

3. Be Grateful

Expressing gratitude, especially if you can make it a daily practice to declare everything you are grateful for in your life, can create positive self-affirming thoughts instead of negative ones and align your attention to everything that is good in your life.  This alone can be transformational.  Many current thought leaders and spiritual teachers encourage people to keep a gratitude journal.  For a good example of this in practice, check out my Aunt Suzy’s Grateful List that she circulated at Christmas and I have since posted on this blog.

If you do a search on Gratitude quotations, you will find many empowering thoughts.  Here’s a few:

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” G.K. Chesterton

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’ ”  William A. Ward

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you’, that would suffice.” Meister Eckhart

4. Trust that the universe is unfolding as it should..

Or perhaps an easier way to say this is, Have Faith.  Sometimes in our darkest hours, when nothing seems to be going as we had wanted or expected, we can’t see this.  We want only to fight against what is.  Everything will not always go our way but, if you trust life and let it unfold, as Mick Jagger said, “you just might get what you need”.

For some this could mean a belief in God, aligned with one of the great faith traditions, for others it might just mean knowing that there is a greater life force, that we are all a part of it, and that life will take us where we need to go if we surrender to it.

5. Practice Forgiveness

Oprah and others, have defined Forgiveness as recognizing that you can’t change the past.  We hold onto a lot of resentment and in the end, who does it hurt?  We hurt ourselves more than anyone else.  Accepting what has happened and creating the space to move on can be a powerful step forward.

Sometimes, particularly if you have been a victim of crime or abuse, whatever happened may seem ‘unforgiveable’.  In these cases, remember that forgiveness does not mean you have to let that person back into your life but it can release you from the hold that this has on you.

In other cases, we may have imagined transgressions that were in reality, minor.  Caroline Myss, medical intuitive and author of a number of bestselling books including “Sacred Contracts”, outlines the common archetypes that drive our behaviours.   She identifies the “Victim” as one of the four archetypes for survival which can lead you to believe that “you are always taken advantage of and it’s never your fault.”  If this feels familiar, her work may be of interest.

Regardless of the situation (and many may lie in between these two extremes), if you have anger or bitterness in your heart, you must do the work needed (whatever that is for you) to let it go.  It literally will suck the life out of you and can affect all your relationships.  The serenity prayer from AA says it all: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.”

6. Follow your Bliss

One of Joseph Campbell’s famous quotations….

Many will say that they would love to follow their bliss but they have to pay the bills, don’t have time, it’s too late to change course, or any other number of excuses.

I would contend that for many of us, we don’t really know what our ‘bliss’ is.  Of course, it seems like it must be the greener grass on the other side.  Certainly, the idea of walking away from a tough job and living in luxury seems blissful – but this is not what Campbell intended.

Sometimes we need to take a hard look at our life circumstances and make adjustments along our journey.  The important thing is to be conscious.  Make conscious choices. Embrace work that you love.  Remember, even when you’re “following your bliss”, there will be tough sledding at times.  This is certainly not a free ticket to quit.

7. Choose your Life

This is another perspective on “Follow your Bliss”.  Sometimes, it’s not our outside circumstances that need to change but our interior dimension.

I took a course called the Landmark Forum many years ago, and this was a key concept after 3 long days of workshop.  It correlates back to the idea that ‘your thoughts create your reality’.

When you declare that your life, your spouse, your children, your job, your world are all exactly what you always wanted, then they will become that for you.

8. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Or, put another way: “Get over yourself”.

No one likes criticism and we all have fragile egos…  but sometimes, when our thoughts hijack us, we can turn the simplest comments into conspiracy theories.

The truth is that not everything is about you, sometimes when people scowl at you, it’s because they’re unhappy inside.  If a person says something to you that you don’t like, you don’t have to react in kind.  In fact you may be able trigger transformation in another by not letting your ego take over, instead be present with that person and be compassionate.

Deepak Chopra asserts that “…the ego is not who we really are.  The ego is our social mask, it is the role we are playing.”

If you are aware and present with people, not coloured by past injustices or imagined indignities, then you can choose to always have powerful, meaningful conversations.

Not being driven by ego takes focus, commitment, and courage…

9. We are all one

When you take steps to be present, become committed to not ‘be your ego’ or run by your thoughts, to be grateful for the people in your life, and to create your reality then you will start to sense more and more that you are not alone but a part of something much greater, the collective spirit of humanity.

Even the latest scientific breakthroughs with respect to quantum consciousness and unified field theory are demonstrating that the universe and everything in it, ourselves included, are interconnected by a vast field of energy.

In this collective space, love and contribution become natural which in turn can fuel harmony and peace in your life.

10. Conscious Evolution

Last summer, I took the Evolutionary Worldview Course through Enlightennext Magazine and Andrew Cohen and then a few months ago, I watched the event: “A Call to Conscious Evolution, Our Moment of Choice”  which was also hosted by this group.  Both experiences were inspirational and eye-opening.  As Deepak, one of the many renowned speakers at the Evolutionary Leaders’ event, said: “…the only way to transform the world is to transform yourself..”  and “…even well-meaning activism is often coming from a place of outrage rather that creative consciousness..”

This jives with many of the teachings of Andrew Cohen and his team with respect to the evolution of our interior dimension and our culture.  Last year, I wrote a short post on “Evolution of Consciousness” vs.”Conscious Evolution” when I began to perceive the difference.  Our mind, our being, or our “interior dimension” as they call it have evolved just as our bodies have.  They talk about 4 billion years of evolution on this planet and how we, as sentient, powerful beings, can now choose where we go from here.  They ask questions like: “how does your own evolution come into the culture, into changing the world?”  and “To what degree are you enabling this process of evolution through your own heroic efforts?” so that we can leave the world a better place because we were here.

Andrew Cohen’s annual Being and Becoming Retreat delves deeply into these possibilities.  I hope to attend this one day myself and will continue to explore and discourse on this topic in future posts.

I recently spoke at a women’s dinner meeting and shared my Top Ten tips, asking for their feedback.  One suggestion, which happened to come from a Chinese medicine doctor, was “Your  Body is your Temple”.  A wonderful suggestion and I believe that, in many ways, this is an extension of  this commitment to conscious evolution.

Making conscious decisions everyday to feed and exercise your body for optimal health and well-being is the other side of the coin to choosing the thoughts that you feed yourself for optimal mental health and well-being.   WILL POWER has a whole new depth of meaning…

If you’re reading this post and have opinions or suggestions on what your top ten are, don’t be shy.  Share your ideas.

The Grateful List

My Aunt Suzy, who is a truly enlightened person from my perspective, sent out her Christmas greetings this year by sharing her “Grateful List”.  I was so touched by this that I asked if she would mind if I posted it on my blog.  This ability to look at what’s right in your world, to appreciate the people and the beauty around you, can make such a difference to your own feelings of well-being and to the contribution you can make to everyone you touch.  We all have frustrations and hardships that we must face in life but we all also have wonderful gifts and people.  The more energy that you devote to the latter, the more positive the energy that you radiate both inside and outside of yourself.  This does not always come natural to us.  It takes commitment and perseverance.

So, here is Suzy’s “Grateful List” for 2010. 

As I look out onto the pure white landscape with snow laden trees and buildings, Xmas lights shining through, I’m once again reminded of how extraordinarily beautiful winter can be in this part of the world, and how lucky I am to enjoy it all. 

I’ve read and heard in the various courses I take what ‘good medicine’ it is to practice thankfulness, and I am a believer:  it’s a wonderful way to get the warm fuzzies, putting your mind to all that is good in your life.  So this year, instead of a letter I’m sending you my Grateful List, as a way of sharing with you matters to me.

 THIS YEAR I AM GRATEFUL FOR:

  •  the discovery of a new hobby – walking.  I’d never taken the time to just walk, and this spring, summer and fall were utterly perfect for my newfound activity; even now that we have winter I’m enjoying walks along the trail – I never realized how lovely it is to just simply ‘be’ out there, with no phones, no noise other than the birds, no talking (well, I do talk to Aub on our morning walks), no pressure – just absorbing the energy of nature around me and being alone with my thoughts.  Author Sarah Ban Breathnach says “…I walk regularly for my soul, and my body tags along.”  I know exactly what she means.
  • the gift I was given this year of a health challenge (pacemaker implant, then blood clot at the insertion site), which afforded me the opportunity to take an extended leave of absence from work.  As a result, I was able to spend many precious hours with my mother in her last two months.  She died very peacefully in her sleep in March, having made a remarkable and beautiful transition from believing she would get well and go home, to accepting the next step with courage, curiosity and grace.  It was an honour to walk with her on her final journey.
  • the wisdom of my friend and colleague Jane, who upon returning from another mission in Haiti affirmed that it’s the small acts of contribution we do day-to-day which truly make a difference. 
  • the fact that life continues to surprise me.  After struggling with the decision of whether or not to retire, I did so in July and have been amazed that after 40 years of looking after other people I am finding great satisfaction and serenity in just looking after me.  I’m not the slightest bit bored, and am astonished at how quickly a day goes by.  I would have thought I’d have had the cleanest house in Listowel by now, but so far I’ve cleaned one closet and am learning to make peace with dust bunnies.  It has been unexpectedly the easiest transition of a life stage I’ve ever made.
  • the contributions to my life that all of my family have made – my husband, sons, Casey, my sisters, their mates and families, my brothers-in-law, their mates and families, my Earle relatives … and the best mother-in-law on the planet.  I grow more and more appreciative of how lucky I am to have their love and support.  And they’re all such interesting people!  I picked well this time.
  • likewise, the encouragement and support from my many wonderful friends – every year of course, but this year in particular.  I think it takes a village to shepherd someone through the minefield of grief.  This year my friends were enormously helpful shepherds, and genuinely caring friends.  I’m getting good at picking!
  • the ability and opportunity to attend the various courses and lectures with my spiritual sisters – it’s such a gift to enjoy their camaraderie while getting my spiritual batteries recharged.
  • that Aub had the joy of playing the best round of golf in his life last summer, shooting 5 under par!
  • that a lovely young couple has moved into Mom’s little house, are fixing it up and making a wonderful home, and that there will soon be a baby in it for the first time in decades.  Mom would like that very much.
  • that for once in 40 years I was able to say (albeit for a brief time), “My Leafs are undefeated!” 
  • the gift of receiving and reciprocating love from 2 special cats –Ripley and Pax, who both went to heaven this fall.  Ripley, who finally used up all nine of her lives at the age of 13, but not before giving me much extra special attention when I was grieving for Mom.  Although she hadn’t been an overly affectionate cat, during those many months she would climb up on me until her body was fully against my chest, front legs over my shoulders as though she was hugging me.  And little Pax, a stray kitten I fell in love with at first sight, who succumbed to Feline Leukemia after going blind.  He was the most affectionate cat we’ve ever had, preferring our attention to food.  Though he was only with us for 4 months, he inserted himself right into our hearts.  I am grateful to have known that little guy – and to be reminded of the lessons animals have to teach us.   About unconditional love; about not thinking too much; about finding joy in the simplest things; about being perfectly happy with just a full tummy, a toy, a snuggle and a warm soft place to sleep. 

 Seems like a good place to stop for today.  Tomorrow there will be other things on my Grateful List – many the same, some new.   It’s a very worthwhile way to occupy the mind, and infinitely more satisfying than listening to the news or worrying about what-ifs. 

The Dalai Lama says:  “If you want to know what you were doing in the past, look at your body now; if you want to know what will happen to you in the future, look at what your mind is doing now.”   My wish for you this Christmas season is that your own Grateful List will be carried with you in your hearts, revised from time to time, but remembered often.  And that it will always make you smile, inside and out. 

 Namaste