Gratitude

My Mother, Camille

Posted July 15, 2019 by Eden

My mother passed away on June 29, 2019 in Collingwood Hospital at the age of 75. This is the eulogy that I read at her Celebration of Life at Alpine Ski Club on July 12th.

Camille Perry was born in 1943 at Toronto Western Hospital. Her mother Jean Earle Perry Thompson, from Newfoundland came to Toronto for nurse’s training. Camille’s father, Wib Perry, was disappointed when he was ineligible for military service due to his affliction with polio as a child. Jean and Wib had a whirlwind courtship, married and had four daughters, first Camille and then Jane, Patti, and Suzie. Wib worked in Radio and Advertising, leading the family to move to Vermont and California where Patti and Suzie were born, eventually settling back in Toronto.

Some of the events of her early years affected who Camille would become. She often chuckled at the irony of a father who always wanted a son and ended up with 5 daughters. He left her mother at a time when divorce was infrequent, remarried and had another daughter, Anita, Camille’s half-sister who lives in BC. Camille was 12 when they were left to pick up the pieces with a despondent mother. Camille took her role as eldest seriously and had a strong sense of responsibility for her mother and sisters. When their father left, Jean packed her girls up to spend time in Newfoundland with her family. Our mother often referenced her memories of Fogo Island, playing bridge with her grandparents, bonding with her relatives there. She always felt a connection to Newfoundland and visited again later in life.

The family returned to Toronto where Camille was a gifted student at Alderwood High School near the Lakeshore. Ola, who was student council president, recalls the night they got together, a Sadie Hawkins dance where she picked him out of a line-up of young men. Once together, they were inseparable. Camille loved to sew clothes and made them shirts from the same fabric which led to teasing of Ola but he still wore the shirts. They were the nicest ones he owned.

Ola and Camille were in love, discovered they were expecting a child in Grade 13. Both had planned to go to university. This caused great consternation with the school and with Ola’s family. They married on March 9, 1962 at a Salvation Army chapel and began their life together in a small apartment in Etobicoke, both leaving school after Ola completed Grade 13. I was born four months later in July 1962. Randy was born 15 months later in October, 1963.

Our parents were young so sometimes I thought they were growing up along with us, especially my dad. 🙂 Ola worked hard and built a career for himself in sales and soon had his own businesses. Camille was a stay at home mother who was determined to go to university. Once Randy and I started school, she enrolled at York University where she earned her Bachelor of Arts in Economics. My parents had their ups and downs in those years, as so many couples do, but ultimately, they chose each other and recommitted to their life together with a new baby. Rebecca was born in 1973.

As a child, I remember mom creating special memories for my brother and I, unexpected days off school just to do fun things, making cookies, buying and decorating our very own Christmas trees, making plastic mold creatures, trips to the Ex, mini shopping sprees. Ten years later, I saw mom create special interests and activities that she shared with my sister. And when grandchildren came along, she planned days with them, took some of them to Disney World in Florida, spoiled them with attention and wonderful gifts or cash to spend on their birthdays and Christmas.

My mother helped my dad with accounting work for his businesses but as they grew, she stepped away. It wasn’t what she loved to do. She always had a sewing machine and often would make clothes for us. She explored other crafts: knitting and crochet, macramé, jewellery making, weaving – for a time she had a huge weaving loom and even dyed the yarn. She owned a craft store, the Stich N Post in Markham and I remember we would sometimes have a booth at craft shows and fairs. She’d get us all into her latest interest. I remember macramé owls everywhere and jars of beads, sitting together, making necklaces or working with polymer clay.

We had a cottage in Huntsville and enjoyed weekends and family gatherings there. As a family, we started skiing at Curlew Ski Club but eventually moved to the Collingwood area, first at the Toronto Ski Club and then Alpine Ski Club. My mother skied in the early years but preferred to stay home with her sewing machine while the rest of the family enjoyed the winter sports. She never wanted to go faster than snowplowing.

When I became a mother, our relationship grew and I turned to her for help with my boys so many times, I couldn’t possibly count. Jordan was born while Doug and I were in 3^rdyear at the University of Waterloo and she would drive up to take Jordan for a week over exams or anytime we needed. When we started our careers and both had to travel, she was a short call away. She would come and stay at our house or take the kids home with her. She never said no when I asked for help, and she always worked out what would make my life easier.

My mother discovered the art of quilting around 1985. She’d found the ultimate artistic outlet for her, combining her mathematical skills with her years of sewing and crafts with her strong creative sensibilities and aptitude for colour. Once captivated, she worked night and day on her quilts, attended classes and conferences, eventually developed her own designs and went on to write six books on quilting. As her expertise grew, she loved to share her knowledge and enthusiasm with others, by teaching at special events and conferences, as far away as Australia, and as president of the York Heritage Quilt Guild and member of the Mad & Noisy Quilters in the Georgian Triangle. Camille was also on the board of the Ontario Crafts Council.

Camille and Ola have seven grandchildren, my three sons Jordan, Perry and Tyler, Randy’s three, Ryley, Roni, and Austen, and Rebecca’s son, Jasper. Camille loved spending time with her grandchildren and had a special relationship with each of them.

Mom was always seeking answers to life’s greater questions. Everything from self-help books and workshops (if she believed it would make a difference, she enrolled everyone in the family) to eastern philosophies and religions and meditation, new age tapes and events involving speakers like Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, and Louise Hay. She was concerned with quieting the mind, maintaining positive energy, believed in karma and reincarnation. Words mattered. She often commented on my stress level and ‘busy mind’, wanted me to ‘relax’. She collected little books with wisdom quotes, often sharing insights she thought were helpful.

Camille and Ola enjoyed travel and had many special trips together and with family, including Norway, a tour of the UK, an adventure in China, the youth Olympics in Austria with family to see her granddaughter win a silver medal, Egypt, a family trip to Lake Louise on her 70^thbirthday and many other fun times. My parents have a winter home in Florida near St Pete’s beach where they have been members at Isla Del Sol Golf Club. They were early, “Eagle” members at Osler Brook Golf club, involved in the building of the club house and we appreciate so many from the club who have come to honour her. She enjoyed golfing and regularly attended the weekly ladies golf days and life at the club for many years but she has been unable to golf for a couple of years now.

Everyone is aware that my mother’s last few years took a sad and unexpected turn. We trace the beginnings of her dementia to an unfortunate episode with pancreatitis in late 2014. She was in extreme pain and spent days in hospital on morphine. That fall and winter, as she recovered, there were a few odd incidents of hallucinations and forgetfulness. Ola started to notice some uncharacteristic mistakes with their finances and assumed control in late 2015.

In 2016, it was becoming apparent that something was wrong. Finally we got her to a specialist appointment. The first diagnosis in August 2016 was Alzheimer’s, middle stages. Devastating shockwaves went around the family. The doctor said nothing could be done, no prescriptions that would help.

But then Camille’s symptoms became increasingly bizarre – including constant hallucinations. Based on this, the doctor changed her diagnosis to suspected Lewy Body Dementia. In this case, medication could help for a while. She went on it and we also began to research. So much is unknown about the causes for dementia which is becoming epidemic. Many of you have shared with us incidents within your own family and there are many new studies and information. My dad was committed to helping her and got her on supplements, adjusted her diet, enrolled her in a special program.

Mom started to improve dramatically with these treatments and her constant hallucinations all but stopped by the end of 2016. We had a reprieve. She wasn’t fully back to being the old Camille but she was still with us and we had some better times for a couple of years. My father has really stepped up throughout all of this, although it’s taken a toll on him. I could not be more impressed or proud of Ola for how he cared for my mother but it wasn’t about duty for him, it was about love.

Sadly, her decline was evident in the past 6 months and we worried about the inevitable next step for her, a nursing home. She would have hated that and what was happening to her. I believe her spirit intervened. She had inner reserves of strength and wisdom that are hard to describe. Just a month ago, she shared her desire to move on from this life in a surprisingly succinct voice. I think some part of her figured it out. In the end, however, it was severe rapid-onset pneumonia that brought her to the hospital on father’s day and she passed a couple of weeks later.

Although her final years were tragic while we slowly lost pieces of the woman we’d loved, Camille was sweet most of the time and knew her family. She still carried herself with the grace and dignity that was inherent to her character. Her great sense of humour prevailed and she could still laugh to the point of tears. We will miss her constant presence in our lives.

But now it’s time to remember Camille for who she was her whole life, not just in the last years when she was unwell.

Camille was a beautiful woman inside and out, strong and dignified, reserved, sensitive, private, full of heart, creative, inquisitive, a searcher for spiritual wisdom, she appreciated simple pleasures and the beauty of nature, she was smart, practical and organized, committed to her family and loyal. She could be somewhat of a loner with an artist’s temperament yet also socially engaging, friendly, outgoing, even the life of the party at times. She could be stubborn and had strong opinions. Doug used to say “your mother has the gift of clarity” and it was true. She loved to share the wisdom she was gaining in her studies of new age philosophies and insights into the human condition.

She had a unique sense of humour. If she found something funny, she would laugh until she cried, most notably at the adorable things that children would share. She had strong morals, was always clear on what was right and wrong, common courtesy and decency were critical, was always kind and considerate. She was generous with her time and gifts, especially of money. Her grandchildren will remember all the $50 bills tucked into the Kinder surprises. She knew the importance of family and community.

For me, she will always be the voice in my head that coaches me to be my best self, to stop stressing, to be kind to myself and others, to follow my creative urges. Now that she is at peace, I can see her in all her stages of life, as a beautiful young mother and wife, as a talented artisan, writer, and teacher, as a loving grandmother and someone who worked hard to create positive energy in the world.

Clifton Wins Again

Posted January 26, 2014 by Eden

Last night was the Awards Gala for the Wasaga Beach Short Film Festival.

My short film – “Clifton Finds a Party” – won the Platinum (first place) Award for the Drama/Comedy category.

I want to thank all of the talented actors who participated in this film, some of whom were performing in front of the camera for the first time. Producing/Directing/Writing/Editing these short films has been a great educational journey for me. As I said in my acceptance speech last night, I am really a writer first. This emerging film festival has been a great opportunity for me to explore story telling with this medium. The next step forward will involve finding some partners to produce better quality films for my stories in future but wearing all the hats in this first stage has been a great way to start.

Some pictures from the afternoon showings of the films and the evening event:

Apache Blessing

Posted October 27, 2013 by Eden

“May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being, may you walk gently through the world and know it’s beauty all the days of your life.”

Eulogy for My Father

Posted October 12, 2013 by Doug Watt

This eulogy for George B Watt was written and delivered by his youngest son, Doug at his funeral on October 10, 2013 in Simcoe, Ontario.

Childhood

George Watt was born on July 27th, 1925 in Crossett, Arkansas. His father, James Watt, was a construction engineer by trade, and his mother, Maude, born Eva Maude Moser was a nurse, who served in the front lines during World War 1. Dad has an older brother of 2 years, Jim, who like dad served in the ministry, spending his life on the west coast of the US. Jim is not well, and our thoughts and prayers are with him and Marie today, as I know theirs are with us. He also had an older half-brother, Ken, who passed away in the early 1990’s.

At the age of four, following the Stock Market crash of 1929, work in Arkansas dried up and dad’s parents moved them back to the west coast, eventually settling just outside the Vancouver area, where his dad found odd jobs to provide for his family during the difficult years of the depression. Dad and his brother Jim spent many, many hours on the farm of Grandpa Gordon, their step-grandfather, in Langley Prairie, BC. Although money was scarce, these were some of the best times of dad’s young life. While down with dad this past weekend, we found an autobiography that he worked on back in the early 90’s. It has been wonderful to read through it and learn more about dad during his childhood.

As the depression neared its end, Grampa Watt found work at the saw mill in Port, now known as Port Alberni, on Vancouver Island, and moved the family there, where dad spent his teenage years, eventually graduating from Port Alberni High School in 1943. He always talked with such fond memory of his friends from that time, especially his closest buddy Doug Cronk or Cronkie. Mom and dad were back 10 years ago for the 60th Anniversary of his high school graduation and they had a great time.

Armed Forces

After graduation, dad enrolled in the Royal Canadian Air Force, along with many of his classmates and was off to training at a base in Alberta, followed by some time in Saskatchewan, eventually being transferred and stationed in Quebec. During the Quebec Conference of September, 1944, codenamed Octagon, between Churchill and Roosevelt, dad served in the Honour Guard and at one point, as he described it was close enough to take the cigar out of Churchill’s mouth, a man that he always spoke of with great respect. As hostilities in Europe ended, dad was furloughed and, dare I say thankfully, never deployed overseas.
Upon his discharge from the armed forces, at the end of the war in 1945, he returned to Port Alberni, and earned his living as both a truck driver and taxi driver. But during this time, dad also struggled with direction and purpose in his life and began drinking, at times heavily.

Conversion

At the age of 25, during the Labour Day Weekend, dad rowed his boat out to the middle of Sproat Lake late one night, with the intention of ending it all, when he had what he refers to as his “Road to Damascus” experience, a time when God called him to the Ministry. Dad turned his life completely over to God that night, and he honoured his commitment to Him right up to the day he passed. He loved his work on God’s behalf. Amazing Grace was always a special song to dad, because it had such personal meaning for him.

Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound; That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found; Was blind but now I see.

We sang that together in dad’s room on Sunday afternoon.

Courtship, Marriage and kids

He responded to his calling by enrolling in Northern Seminary in Chicago in the fall of 1951. He left Seminary after first year and went to Vancouver, where he worked in a funeral home as an usher (yes, can you imagine someone as bright and chipper as dad welcoming you to a funeral? At one point, as he tells us it, he was asked to tone down the smiling a little bit). Regaining his purpose, he returned to Northern in the fall of 1953, and this is where the fun part starts. In the spring of 1954, once dad discovered that his good friend Herbie Cassels was not going to ask a beautiful young nursing student that dad had first met the previous fall by the name of Helen Rae Gaines, from Paw Paw, Illinois to the spring banquet, dad made his move (after taking his sweet time getting his courage up). They had their first date on March 28, 1954.

Following a brief (very brief) courtship, they were engaged and then married in mom’s hometown of Paw Paw on August 21, 1954, having just celebrated their 59th wedding Anniversary. Dad graduated from Northern in May of 1957, along with good friends Bob Vaughn – he and his wife became Uncle Bob and Aunt Joyce to us, and Bill Brantingham, who along with his wife became Uncle Bill and Aunt Bert. Before graduating and leaving Chicago however, they had their first son, Bill, followed, over the next nine years by Dave and Gord in Trail, BC, home of dad’s first church for four years, and Mary, Bob and yours truly in Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, where he served for five years. From Moose Jaw, it was further east to Fort William Baptist Church for five years, and then on to Heron Park Baptist Church in West Hill, where mom and dad became grandparents for the first time, as Bill had his first son Ken. Fifteen additional grandchildren followed, along with two great-grandchildren. As many of you know, Madeleine, following a fight full of grace, dignity, and strength, not unlike her granddad’s left us in April of 2004, and I hope that Madeleine and dad are now together and both here with us today. Churches followed in Ingersoll for ten years, and then Mississauga and Ignace and finally in Vittoria for semi-retirement, before dad ended his formal pastoral years in 2004 when he and mom settled in Simcoe where they have lived happily until dad’s passing on Sunday.

Pastoral Record

Dad kept a Pastoral Record through the years of his Ministry, recording among other things every Baptism, Wedding and Funeral he presided over. Some of you may be in here. And every Sermon he delivered, from his first on September 8, 1957 entitled “Emmanuel – God with Us”, with the text of Matthew 1:23; right through to his final sermon, 122 pages and 47 years later, on April 25, 2004, entitled “You’re Great, Because He is – Jesus Christ”, drawing on the text of Collosians 1:1-18.

For those of you from the church here, I can’t tell you how much it means to me and my brothers and sister, how much George and Helen are loved here. They think so much of all of you. Your kindness and generosity during dad’s physical struggles over the past years have been awesome and we thank you sincerely for it.

Vacations

Dad loved to travel and to drive. He even kept a record of all of our and their vacations beginning in 1958 through to 2001 in his Pastoral Record. He was at home behind the wheel. He recalled fondly his days driving truck or taxi, or even driving the miners up to the mine on the bus when he is was in Ignace. But for me, when I think of dad and driving, I think of our summer vacations. We would climb in the car and we would go… and go… and go.

Toronto to Thunder Bay was a common first day. It usually only took about 20 hours or so, with a stop in Wawa for a five minute bathroom break of course. Station wagons were pretty much the only option available for a family of eight. That would be dad and two of us in the front seat, mom refereeing with two of us in the middle, and then two of us lying down in the back, along with all of the luggage. This was before the seat belt laws of course. Good thing, as summer vacations are some of my favourite childhood memories. Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money, so hotels for eight were out of the question. Picture this if you will. You look out your front window and a station wagon pulls in the driveway; and out pour the Watts… eight of them. “Oh Good! The Watts are here… for the next four days”; and so it went, usually for anywhere from four to six weeks just about every summer. The Trendiaks in Thunder Bay; Grandma House and Grace in Moose Jaw; The Rapleys in Trail; Uncle Bob and Aunt Joyce in Mill Bay and Sproat Lake; our newfound cousins the Mosers in Moser River, Nova Scotia; Uncle Bill and Aunt Bert in Marion, Ohio and of course Uncle Russ, Uncle Chet and Aunt Sarah (bless their souls) along with Connie and Cheryl ( our buzzin’ cousins who are thankfully here with us today) and Chet Jr. in mom’s hometown of Paw Paw; Aunt Mary and Uncle Earl with Mark and Earl in Morrisville, Vt; the last 2 feeling like second childhood homes to me. There are more – many more kind, generous people that “took us in”; opened up their homes and their lives and made us feel welcome. For me, summer vacations provided some of the best, longest-lasting memories of my life. And while there will be different memories for my siblings because of our ages, I know they have similar feelings.

Dad never met someone that he didn’t consider a potential future friend for life. Often on our trips, we would pull in to a rest stop for a picnic lunch. Dad would conveniently “forget” the salt and pepper in the car, simply for the opportunity to make the acquaintance of the people at a nearby table, so he could hear their life story and share some laughs with a new friend, then come back and join us 10 minutes later so we could climb back in the car and be on our way. That happened more than once.

Visiting
Meeting people and talking to people was what he loved most about being a Minister. Yes he loved being in the pulpit, and yes he generally enjoyed the workings of the church (at least some of it), but where dad was most comfortable and where I believe God most used dad’s service, was when he was out visiting and sharing with people. He loved it. He lived for it. He fed off it. He would have loved yesterday – a chance to visit with so many people that meant so much to him. When we were all younger, we had the privilege of accompanying dad as he made his rounds, whether it was Trail, Moose Jaw or Thunder Bay. My brothers and Mary and I had access to toys and cookies and candies in houses throughout the church family. I think dad knew that children helped put people at ease and were a way of helping them open up during dad’s visits them. It was also his way of giving mom a much-needed break at home but of course the real reason is it meant that he didn’t have to come right out and ask for a cookie himself. A friend from Ingersoll recently shared with my brother and sister that the reason they attended the Baptist Church is because shortly after moving to Ingersoll, they made the rounds to several of the churches, and Pastor Watt came out to visit them immediately following the week they attended. He made them feel wanted and welcome. Dad made sure he did that with every person that turned up in his church for the first time.

Long after he retired, dad would still tirelessly go out and make the rounds at nursing homes and the hospital, offering kind words, comfort and optimism to many, many people. Pastor Raymond shared a wonderful story with me at the hospital this past weekend. He said that while he was out doing his visitation over the last several years, he would sometimes ask people if others had been in to see them over the past week, and people would tell him “Pastor George”. Pastor Raymond, it has been great spending time with you and sharing with you. You are a special person to my mom and dad, and I am glad that you have agreed to share at dad’s service today. You remind me of my dad…

Letter Writing

Dad loved to write letters. A lot. Seriously, a lot. He viewed it as part of his job as a minister. Correspondence with literally hundreds of people, dare I say thousands, for years hand-written and later on, on his ultra-modern electronic typewriter. Christmas letters went out each year, sharing with everyone the events of the past year in the Watt House. I remember being on stamp or envelope duty early on. It was quite an assembly line getting letters folded, stuffed (and licked, yuck) and stamped and then shipped out. Starting in the early 90’s, he began the monthly family epistles. Early every month, without fail, we would receive a letter from dad. In it was a one-page type written letter, with brief summaries of each of the six of us and our families and our news they had gleaned through phone calls or visits along with a summary of their month. This carried on right up until dad’s shoulder injury back in January 2011, and it always included a short hand-written note from mom or dad, or often both, and more often than not pictures of cats from one of his latest daily cat calendars.

How many of you received a postcard from dad?… that took, oh I don’t know, ten minutes to read… in part because you couldn’t actually read it without a magnifying glass, but mostly because there was the equivalent of two pages of writing on it. Not a lot of “Wish you Were Here” cards where dad was concerned. Between his scotsman blood and his growing up through the depression, he made sure he got his money’s worth out of everything.

Sayings

As we all know, dad had a lot to say… and a very special, uniquely George way of saying it. I’m not sure which dictionary he used, because it was one that I’ve never seen before. And he had a never-ending supply of special sayings, some of which he offered up free of charge to his grandkids to use in their dating pursuits. One of my kids’ favourites was “Hubba, hubba ding, ding; baby you’ve got everything”.

He had one for just about every occasion. At least one. Some of my and my family’s other favourites:

For dinner time: “Apple pie without cheese, is like a kiss without a squeeze”. He had a slice of cheese, preferably old cheddar with every piece of mom’s delicious apple pies.

Or “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream”. That went pretty well with the pie too.

Or if he were upset about the outcome of something: “wouldn’t that rot your socks”.

I’m sure everyone has their own personal favourite. With dad it was never just the words, it was the delivery. He had a twinkle in his eye and a happy, earnest way that he delivered these lines, with the possible exception of “I’ll give you something to cry for”. With six kids in nine years, it wasn’t always just smiles and happiness.

Closing

In closing, I leave you with who my dad was to me. He was an incredibly loving and giving person, not in your face loving, not just “let me tell you how much I love you” loving, but more “let me show you how much I love you”.

He was a dad who always made time for his kids and grandkids. He came to my hockey games, just about all of them, and there were lots. For out of town games, he would often make sure he was available to help drive. My teammates and their fathers thought dad was the greatest, as I heard from many of them when I was older. He sat out there with the other dads, never preachy, never pushy, but they recalled that there something unique and special about him and the way he carried himself.

He was a Minister, who in his own words said “I loved the Ministry”. Because there was very little distinction between George the man and George the Minister, his approach was the same, as he delivered a message of love and generosity, not one of judgment. He walked a fine line sometimes of doing what he felt some in the church expected of him as their Minister, and what he knew God expected of him. In his wake he left thousands of people who all agree there is no one else quite like Pastor George.

He was a husband who loved his wife, dearly. I had the pleasure of sitting with dad last Tuesday after he had been admitted for the final time. I knew that I would probably not have much more time with him, so I brought a voice recorder to capture some of his final thoughts. He told me, with his voice breaking that “I had the best pastor’s wife a man could ever have… and a great mom too”. He was right on both counts. We are privileged to have our mom.

He was a man who cared about others and what they were up to, more than himself. He never complained about his own problems. Whenever I talked to him, he would recall from our previous conversations, anyone that was sick or had a problem, or was facing some kind of upcoming event, and he would ask about them, without fail. On Friday night when my wife Eden and I went to see him in the hospital, his last words to her, when he could barely talk were “How’s your dad?”

He was a man that appreciated his life and felt blessed. Gord and I were down in early September, and I think dad knew the end was not far off. He kept telling us how lucky he was to have such a great family, to have such wonderful kids and grandkids, such great friends, to have such a great wife. I was blown away by the state he was in, despite what was happening to his body.

He was Dad, Granddad, Mr. Watt, he was Pastor George, sometimes just George. He was a humble, yet oh so effective servant for God. He was my dad, and I loved him, and I will miss him.

Note: A sentence I wrote and wished I had included: Dad’s greatness was defined not by the big things that he did, but by the huge number of little things that he did.

Staying out of the Basement

Posted August 29, 2012 by Eden

Are you conscious of your busy mind? Do you occasionally find yourself angry or depressed, just by the random thought generation at work in your head, even when nothing has happened in the present to trigger this response?

In my post “The Top Ten Tips for Living a Happy Life”, one of the key concepts was “Your thoughts create your reality”. This topic including others related to this critical idea that we are not our mind/ego. We have the ability to create our own reality. You will find variations of this theme common among many of the thought leaders, spiritual and self-help teachers today.

In my own life, I regularly revisit these concepts, especially when I find my mind sabotaging all the work I’ve done to stay positive and loving and present. In the following chart, I’ve summarized three ‘states of being’ with examples of what kinds of thoughts and feelings characterize each state. Where do you spend most of your time? If the answer is the ‘basement’ then I encourage you to do the work you need to do to come upstairs!

If you are often frustrated, feeling resentment, blaming others for your situation, asking questions like “Why me?” and “What if?”, dwelling on the past and obsessing over thoughts like “If only I’d done this”, and are generally unhappy with the “way it is”, then I would call that living in the basement. Other symptoms might be that you are overly judgmental of others, depressed, and feeling stuck.

Ascending to higher levels will not only result in your feeling more joy in your life but you will be more able to contribute to others and enjoy meaningful relationships. This involves living in the present, accepting that the universe is unfolding as it should and being grateful for your life.

I’ve put together this chart to remind myself of this. This can also serve as a quick check to see where you’re at and ‘get off it’ if you catch yourself lingering in the ‘basement’.

The Miracle of a Rainbow

Posted August 15, 2012 by Eden

On Saturday evening, I witnessed a miracle, eye candy that was heaven-sent. We first spotted the colours in the sky at about 7:30pm after a very special evening. It was a sign, an omen for a wonderful future. I felt it.

Merriam-Webster had a more scientific explanation for the phenomenon. It was “an arc.. that exhibits in concentric bands the colors of the spectrum and that is formed by the refraction and reflection of the sun’s rays in raindrops, spray, or mist”.

The Rainbow was absolutely spectacular. I’ve never seen the full arc from one end to the other with a mirrored band above nor been so ‘close’ before. Of course, according to Wiki, a rainbow is “not located at a specific distance, but comes from any water droplets viewed from a certain angle relative to the Sun’s rays. Thus, a rainbow is not a physical object, and cannot be physically approached.” So, the pot of gold was not achievable, apparently although I wonder if we were actually in the rainbow from some perspectives on the water that night.

In southern Ontario, it was a stormy, wet, weekend – not ideal weather for an outdoor wedding in a park followed by a dinner boat cruise around the Toronto Harbour and Islands. But, of course, you have to work with what you get and in the end, this most wondrous omen appeared in the sky on our return journey to the dock.

I was delighted to be included in my old friend Jola’s wedding last weekend. We were great friends in our twenties but I got busy with kids and career, she moved out west and we lost touch until the last few years on Facebook. She came to town with her amazing fiance, John, from Calgary to get married on her father’s boat, the “Island Princess”. The wedding was in the Toronto Musical Gardens, right by the boat. There were delays due to the misty, windy weather but ultimately it went off without a hitch and we all climbed into the boat for the reception.

There was some rain on and off but we were comfortable in the boat in a wind-protected area among the Toronto Islands. It was so great to see how happy Jola and John were. She found her soul mate and I am thrilled for her.

On the return to harbour, the visual delight of the double rainbows stretching across the lake from the Toronto city side to the islands seemed to be nothing short of a divine promise of everlasting love and friendship for them both.

Vimeo had a weekend film project to create a one minute short of scenes from the ‘magic’ hour (dawn or dusk) over this past weekend so I pulled together this short video with the little bit of film clips I had and some of the shots: Short Rainbow Video with Pictures on Vimeo

Ten Tips for Living a “Happy” Life

Posted July 11, 2012 by Eden

What is “happy” and is it really attainable? In this age of fast-paced, information overload, what do we really want from life?

I believe we want what people have always wanted. We want to be happy. We want to love and contribute to others. We want to be loved. We want to think we’re making a difference, that there’s a “reason” or purpose for our existence.

While some might argue that happy is an overused term and not a practical goal, let’s consider happy as being peaceful and content, as being the opposite of miserable, as being empowered to be all that we can be in life, to be able to have loving and sustainable relationships. And then, I think, everyone will agree that this is a state where we would all like to be centered.

Based on my own personal exploration into this essential quest, I’ve summarized what I view as the Top Ten tips to a Happy Life, as taught by many of the thought leaders today who are great authors, speakers, and spiritual teachers..

TOP TEN:

1. Be Present, Be Here Now

Studies suggest we have somewhere between 12,000 to 65,000 thoughts per day, although I’ve seen reference to a wider range (between 2,000 to 600,000!). Most commonly, 50-60,000 is considered a good estimate.

Being human means being inundated with thoughts all day, every day: endless observations, judgements, interpretations, complaints, worries, ‘what-ifs’, memories, regrets, wishes, desires, dreams about our future, anger about our past, and on and on. I’ve seen statistics indicating 95% of them are similar from day to day. Some thoughts seem completely random, others can hijack us as we follow a thread and let our emotions react to what are sometimes completely irrational, twisted versions of reality. For me, it has been a major breakthrough to understand that I am NOT my thoughts. For too long, my thoughts ran me. They still try to, every single day, but I am watching them now. I used to look to my thoughts for meaning, wondering why I was suddenly upset when nothing had happened.

So how much of an average person’s thoughts are rooted in the present moment? Some suggest that the majority of our thoughts are rooted in the past (somewhere between 70 and 90%) with about 10-20% ruminating or dreaming or imagining what will happen in the future. A small percentage of our thoughts actually focus on the present moment in a purely experiential manner. Within our minds, our perception of the past, how it is affecting us now and into the future can often become warped.

Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” and other books is a well-known speaker and teacher in this area. Tolle tells us: “Stay fully present in the now-your whole life unfolds here. In the now there is joy of Being and deep peace”.

In Deepak Chopra’s “Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, he says that pure potentiality is pure consciousness, the field of all possibilities and infinite creativity. Meditation to connect with our inner being to be present and master our thoughts can help us to find that state of pure consciousness.

2. Your Thoughts Create your Reality

When you start to understand that you are not your thoughts, that you are a being with a powerful inner spirit that happens to also have a brain that does what brains do, non-stop generation of thoughts, you can step back and observe this and take control. Consider how you can choose how your brain operates just as you make these decisions about using your arm or your fingers or your eyes every day of your life.

The realization that you actually could control and direct your thoughts to create whatever reality you choose can open up a whole new world. If, for example, you tell yourself that you cannot succeed at something – then you probably won’t. So, the obvious question is why tell yourself that? And yet we do it all the time..

There’s so much groundbreaking work in this area over the past decade, everything from the books on the Law of Attraction (including the blockbuster work called “The Secret”) and new science indicating that thoughts are actually bits of quantum energy (see my post entitled “The Science behind the Mystery”), which opens up even more unbelievable implications for our potential capabilities if we can master our mind.

Louise Hay (founder of Hay House) is an inspiring example of this powerful concept in action. Her countless books and CD’s on Affirmations show how you can change your life by the very simple practice of constantly generating positive, life-affirming thoughts. From “Power Thoughts” by Louise Hay: “Trust life to hear and respond to your positive words. Say these affirmations every day and your whole world will change for the better.”

3. Be Grateful

Expressing gratitude, especially if you can make it a daily practice to declare everything you are grateful for in your life, can create positive self-affirming thoughts instead of negative ones and align your attention to everything that is good in your life. This alone can be transformational. Many current thought leaders and spiritual teachers encourage people to keep a gratitude journal.

If you do a search on Gratitude quotations, you will find many empowering thoughts. Here’s a few:

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” G.K. Chesterton

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’ ” William A. Ward

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you’, that would suffice.” Meister Eckhart

4. Trust that the universe is unfolding as it should..

Or perhaps an easier way to say this is, Have Faith. Sometimes in our darkest hours, when nothing seems to be going as we had wanted or expected, we can’t see this. We want only to fight against what is. Everything will not always go our way but, if you trust life and let it unfold, as Mick Jagger said, “you just might get what you need”.

For some this could mean a belief in God, aligned with one of the great faith traditions, for others it might just mean knowing that there is a greater life force, that we are all a part of it, and that life will take us where we need to go if we surrender to it.

5. Practice Forgiveness

Oprah and others, have defined Forgiveness as recognizing that you can’t change the past. We hold onto a lot of resentment and in the end, who does it hurt? We hurt ourselves more than anyone else. Accepting what has happened and creating the space to move on can be a powerful step forward.

Sometimes, particularly if you have been a victim of crime or abuse, whatever happened may seem ‘unforgiveable’. In these cases, remember that forgiveness does not mean you have to let that person back into your life but it can release you from the hold that this has on you.

In other cases, we may have imagined transgressions that were in reality, minor. Caroline Myss, medical intuitive and author of a number of bestselling books including “Sacred Contracts”, outlines the common archetypes that drive our behaviours. She identifies the “Victim” as one of the four archetypes for survival which can lead you to believe that “you are always taken advantage of and it’s never your fault.” If this feels familiar, her work may be of interest.

Regardless of the situation (and many may lie in between these two extremes), if you have anger or bitterness in your heart, you must do the work needed (whatever that is for you) to let it go. It literally will suck the life out of you and can affect all your relationships. The serenity prayer from AA says it all: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.”

6. Follow your Bliss

One of Joseph Campbell’s famous quotations…

Many will say that they would love to follow their bliss but they have to pay the bills, don’t have time, it’s too late to change course, or any other number of excuses.

I would contend that for many of us, we don’t really know what our ‘bliss’ is. Of course, it seems like it must be the greener grass on the other side. Certainly, the idea of walking away from a tough job and living in luxury seems blissful – but this is not what Campbell intended.

Sometimes we need to take a hard look at our life circumstances and make adjustments along our journey. The important thing is to be conscious. Make conscious choices. Embrace work that you love. Remember, even when you’re “following your bliss”, there will be tough sledding at times. This is certainly not a free ticket to quit.

7. Choose your Life

This is another perspective on “Follow your Bliss”. Sometimes, it’s not our outside circumstances that need to change but our interior dimension.

I took a course called the Landmark Forum many years ago, and this was a key concept after three long days of workshop. It correlates back to the idea that ‘your thoughts create your reality’.

When you declare that your life, your spouse, your children, your job, your world are all exactly what you always wanted, then they will become that for you.

8. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Or, put another way: “Get over yourself”.

No one likes criticism and we all have fragile egos… but sometimes, when our thoughts hijack us, we can turn the simplest comments into conspiracy theories.

The truth is that not everything is about you, sometimes when people scowl at you, it’s because they’re unhappy inside. If a person says something to you that you don’t like, you don’t have to react in kind. In fact you may be able trigger transformation in another by not letting your ego take over, instead be present with that person and be compassionate.

Deepak Chopra asserts that “… the ego is not who we really are. The ego is our social mask, it is the role we are playing.”

If you are aware and present with people, not coloured by past injustices or imagined indignities, then you can choose to always have powerful, meaningful conversations.

Not being driven by ego takes focus, commitment, and courage…

9. We are all one

When you take steps to be present, become committed to not ‘be your ego’ or run by your thoughts, to be grateful for the people in your life, and to create your reality then you will start to sense more and more that you are not alone but a part of something much greater, the collective spirit of humanity.

Even the latest scientific breakthroughs with respect to quantum consciousness and unified field theory are demonstrating that the universe and everything in it, ourselves included, are interconnected by a vast field of energy.

In this collective space, love and contribution become natural which in turn can fuel harmony and peace in your life.

10. Conscious Evolution

Last year, I took the Evolutionary Worldview Course through Enlightennext Magazine and Andrew Cohen and later, watched the event: “A Call to Conscious Evolution, Our Moment of Choice” which was also hosted by this group. Both experiences were inspirational and eye-opening. As Deepak, one of the many renowned speakers at the Evolutionary Leaders’ event, said: “… the only way to transform the world is to transform yourself..” and “… even well-meaning activism is often coming from a place of outrage rather that creative consciousness..”

This jives with many of the teachings of Andrew Cohen and his team with respect to the evolution of our interior dimension and our culture. Our mind, our being, or our “interior dimension” as they call it have evolved just as our bodies have. They talk about 4 billion years of evolution on this planet and how we, as sentient, powerful beings, can now choose where we go from here. They ask questions like: “how does your own evolution come into the culture, into changing the world?” and “To what degree are you enabling this process of evolution through your own heroic efforts?” so that we can leave the world a better place because we were here.

Making conscious decisions everyday to feed and exercise your body for optimal health and well-being is the other side of the coin to choosing the thoughts that you feed yourself for optimal mental health and well-being.

The “Desiderata”

Posted June 27, 2012 by Eden

This famous piece of prose insinuated itself into my psyche at an early age. At our cottage in Huntsville, my parents hung the “Desiderata” on the wall of the main floor washroom. So everytime I sat on the toilet as an impressionable young girl on our weekends away, I would read it and try to make sense of what it told me. I believe my parents had become enamoured with the “Desiderata” when Pierre Elliott Trudeau shared it with Canada in one of his speeches. It was apparently a ‘motto’ for how our former, illustrious Prime Minister carried himself in the world… and my parents were fans of Trudeau.

I forgot all about this until a couple of years ago when my son, Jordan, gave us a large poster/plague for Christmas with a picture of a waterfall and the words of the “Desiderata”. This is now hanging in the bedroom.

It was always a mystery to me that these eloquent words of wisdom on how to move through life with grace was not credited to anyone. The poster in our bathroom in the 70’s credited the writing to “anonymous” and the one in my bedroom does not reference an author at all. In writing this post, I did a quick google search and discovered that it was in fact written in 1927 by American writer Max Ehrmann (1872–1945). There was some confusion over this and due to a series of blunders, it was assumed to be written in 1692 by an unknown author and therefore copyright-free. It wasn’t until a spoken word song was released of the “Desiderata” in the early 70’s that the family of the author was able to declare the rightful author and win royalties.

“Desiderata” is a Latin word meaning “Desired Things”. A few choice phrases (“the universe is unfolding as it should”, “be gentle with yourself”, “keep peace with your soul”) have always resonated with me and seem ahead of their time for when this piece was written.

Here is the full prose poem:

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy

Vancouver and Lake Louise

Posted June 16, 2012 by Eden

At the end of May, I went on a whirlwind trip to Western Canada. First stop was Vancouver where I fell in love with Stanley Park. It’s been many years since I’ve been there. I don’t think I fully appreciated it when I was younger. Next stop was Calgary and the drive to Lake Louise to visit my son, Jordan, who has been working there, at the Fairmont, since September. Again, the mountains, forests, crystal clear lakes, and wildlife were all a joy to behold. Even though Jordan had warned me, it was surprising to still see snow and ice on Lake Louise at the beginning of June. Definitely a little chillier than Southern Ontario but crisp, clean and beautiful. I’m so happy that he is treated to such immense beauty every day when he goes to work.

Here’s a few shots from the trip:

Heron Reflections

Image 1 of 22

Taken in Vancouver Harbour from Stanley Park