Soul’s Journey

Joseph Campbell

Posted by Eden

Joseph Campbell was a professor of mythology, speaker and prolific writer, whose influence was so far-reaching that Newsweek, upon his death in 1987, called him “one of the rarest of intellectuals in American life: a serious thinker who has been embraced by the popular culture.”

Campbell applied Jungian theory to his study of mythology and added his own perspective in the realm of spirituality and human potential.

He believed that all religions, at their core, sought the same elemental life force from which everything came, within which everything currently exists, and into which everything will return. Although this cannot be expressed in words, spiritual rituals and stories refer to the force through the use of “metaphors”—these metaphors being the various stories, deities, and objects of spirituality we see in the world. For example, the Genesis myth in the Bible ought not be taken as a literal description of actual events, but rather its poetic, metaphorical meaning should be examined for clues concerning the fundamental truths of the world and our existence.

Accordingly, Campbell believed the religions of the world to be the various, culturally influenced “masks” of the same fundamental, transcendent truths.

In his own words: “People feel panicky at the thought that we might all have something in common, that they are giving up some exclusive hold on the truth. It is something like discovering that you are a Frenchman and a human being at the same time. That is exactly the challenge that the great religions face in the Space Age.”

Campbell was fascinated with what he viewed as basic, universal truths, expressed in different manifestations across different cultures. For example, in the preface to his book: “The Hero with a Thousand Faces”, he said a goal of his was to demonstrate similarities between Eastern and Western religions. In his four-volume series of books “The Masks of God”, Campbell tried to summarize the main spiritual threads common throughout the world while examining their local manifestations.

Note – excerpts above taken from The Joseph Campbell Foundation site and Wikipedia

From “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” by Joseph Campbell:

“We have not even to risk the adventure alone, for the heroes of all time have gone before us — the labyrinth is thoroughly known. We have only to follow the thread of the hero path, and where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence. And where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.”

My Mother, Camille

Posted by Eden

My mother passed away on June 29, 2019 in Collingwood Hospital at the age of 75. This is the eulogy that I read at her Celebration of Life at Alpine Ski Club on July 12th.

Camille Perry was born in 1943 at Toronto Western Hospital.  Her mother Jean Earle Perry Thompson, from Newfoundland came to Toronto for nurse’s training.  Camille’s father, Wib Perry, was disappointed when he was ineligible for military service due to his affliction with polio as a child.  Jean and Wib had a whirlwind courtship, married and had four daughters, first Camille and then Jane, Patti, and Suzie.  Wib worked in Radio and Advertising, leading the family to move to Vermont and California where Patti and Suzie were born, eventually settling back in Toronto.

Some of the events of her early years affected who Camille would become.  She often chuckled at the irony of a father who always wanted a son and ended up with 5 daughters.  He left her mother at a time when divorce was infrequent, remarried and had another daughter, Anita, Camille’s half-sister who lives in BC.  Camille was 12 when they were left to pick up the pieces with a despondent mother.  Camille took her role as eldest seriously and had a strong sense of responsibility for her mother and sisters.  When their father left, Jean packed her girls up to spend time in Newfoundland with her family.  Our mother often referenced her memories of Fogo Island, playing bridge with her grandparents, bonding with her relatives there.  She always felt a connection to Newfoundland and visited again later in life.

The family returned to Toronto where Camille was a gifted student at Alderwood High School near the Lakeshore.  Ola, who was student council president, recalls the night they got together, a Sadie Hawkins dance where she picked him out of a line-up of young men.  Once together, they were inseparable.  Camille loved to sew clothes and made them shirts from the same fabric which led to teasing of Ola but he still wore the shirts.  They were the nicest ones he owned.

Ola and Camille were in love, discovered they were expecting a child in Grade 13.  Both had planned to go to university.  This caused great consternation with the school and with Ola’s family.  They married on March 9, 1962 at a Salvation Army chapel and began their life together in a small apartment in Etobicoke, both leaving school after Ola completed Grade 13.  I was born four months later in July 1962.  Randy was born 15 months later in October, 1963.

Our parents were young so sometimes I thought they were growing up along with us, especially my dad. 🙂  Ola worked hard and built a career for himself in sales and soon had his own businesses.  Camille was a stay at home mother who was determined to go to university.  Once Randy and I started school, she enrolled at York University where she earned her Bachelor of Arts in Economics.  My parents had their ups and downs in those years, as so many couples do, but ultimately, they chose each other and recommitted to their life together with a new baby.  Rebecca was born in 1973.

As a child, I remember mom creating special memories for my brother and I, unexpected days off school just to do fun things, making cookies, buying and decorating our very own Christmas trees, making plastic mold creatures, trips to the Ex, mini shopping sprees.  Ten years later, I saw mom create special interests and activities that she shared with my sister.  And when grandchildren came along, she planned days with them, took some of them to Disney World in Florida, spoiled them with attention and wonderful gifts or cash to spend on their birthdays and Christmas. 

My mother helped my dad with accounting work for his businesses but as they grew, she stepped away.  It wasn’t what she loved to do.  She always had a sewing machine and often would make clothes for us. She explored other crafts: knitting and crochet, macramé, jewellery making, weaving – for a time she had a huge weaving loom and even dyed the yarn.  She owned a craft store, the Stich N Post in Markham and I remember we would sometimes have a booth at craft shows and fairs.  She’d get us all into her latest interest. I remember macramé owls everywhere and jars of beads, sitting together, making necklaces or working with polymer clay.

We had a cottage in Huntsville and enjoyed weekends and family gatherings there.  As a family, we started skiing at Curlew Ski Club but eventually moved to the Collingwood area, first at the Toronto Ski Club and then Alpine Ski Club. My mother skied in the early years but preferred to stay home with her sewing machine while the rest of the family enjoyed the winter sports.  She never wanted to go faster than snowplowing.

When I became a mother, our relationship grew and I turned to her for help with my boys so many times, I couldn’t possibly count. Jordan was born while Doug and I were in 3rdyear at the University of Waterloo and she would drive up to take Jordan for a week over exams or anytime we needed.  When we started our careers and both had to travel, she was a short call away. She would come and stay at our house or take the kids home with her.  She never said no when I asked for help, and she always worked out what would make my life easier.

My mother discovered the art of quilting around 1985.  She’d found the ultimate artistic outlet for her, combining her mathematical skills with her years of sewing and crafts with her strong creative sensibilities and aptitude for colour.  Once captivated, she worked night and day on her quilts, attended classes and conferences, eventually developed her own designs and went on to write six books on quilting.  As her expertise grew, she loved to share her knowledge and enthusiasm with others, by teaching at special events and conferences, as far away as Australia, and as president of the York Heritage Quilt Guild and member of the Mad & Noisy Quilters in the Georgian Triangle. Camille was also on the board of the Ontario Crafts Council.

Camille and Ola have seven grandchildren, my three sons Jordan, Perry and Tyler, Randy’s three, Ryley, Roni, and Austen, and Rebecca’s son, Jasper.  Camille loved spending time with her grandchildren and had a special relationship with each of them.

Mom was always seeking answers to life’s greater questions.  Everything from self-help books and workshops (if she believed it would make a difference, she enrolled everyone in the family) to eastern philosophies and religions and meditation, new age tapes and events involving speakers like Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, and Louise Hay.  She was concerned with quieting the mind, maintaining positive energy, believed in karma and reincarnation.  Words mattered.  She often commented on my stress level and ‘busy mind’, wanted me to ‘relax’.  She collected little books with wisdom quotes, often sharing insights she thought were helpful.  

Camille and Ola enjoyed travel and had many special trips together and with family, including Norway, a tour of the UK, an adventure in China, the youth Olympics in Austria with family to see her granddaughter win a silver medal, Egypt, a family trip to Lake Louise on her 70thbirthday and many other fun times.  My parents have a winter home in Florida near St Pete’s beach where they have been members at Isla Del Sol Golf Club.  They were early, “Eagle” members at Osler Brook Golf club, involved in the building of the club house and we appreciate so many from the club who have come to honour her.  She enjoyed golfing and regularly attended the weekly ladies golf days and life at the club for many years but she has been unable to golf for a couple of years now.

Everyone is aware that my mother’s last few years took a sad and unexpected turn.  We trace the beginnings of her dementia to an unfortunate episode with pancreatitis in late 2014.  She was in extreme pain and spent days in hospital on morphine.  That fall and winter, as she recovered, there were a few odd incidents of hallucinations and forgetfulness.   Ola started to notice some uncharacteristic mistakes with their finances and assumed control in late 2015.

In 2016, it was becoming apparent that something was wrong.  Finally we got her to a specialist appointment.  The first diagnosis in August 2016 was Alzheimer’s, middle stages. Devastating shockwaves went around the family.  The doctor said nothing could be done, no prescriptions that would help.

But then Camille’s symptoms became increasingly bizarre – including constant hallucinations.  Based on this, the doctor changed her diagnosis to suspected Lewy Body Dementia. In this case, medication could help for a while.  She went on it and we also began to research.  So much is unknown about the causes for dementia which is becoming epidemic. Many of you have shared with us incidents within your own family and there are many new studies and information. My dad was committed to helping her and got her on supplements, adjusted her diet, enrolled her in a special program.  

Mom started to improve dramatically with these treatments and her constant hallucinations all but stopped by the end of 2016.  We had a reprieve.  She wasn’t fully back to being the old Camille but she was still with us and we had some better times for a couple of years.  My father has really stepped up throughout all of this, although it’s taken a toll on him.  I could not be more impressed or proud of Ola for how he cared for my mother but it wasn’t about duty for him, it was about love.

Sadly, her decline was evident in the past 6 months and we worried about the inevitable next step for her, a nursing home. She would have hated that and what was happening to her. I believe her spirit intervened.  She had inner reserves of strength and wisdom that are hard to describe.  Just a month ago, she shared her desire to move on from this life in a surprisingly succinct voice.  I think some part of her figured it out.  In the end, however, it was severe rapid-onset pneumonia that brought her to the hospital on father’s day and she passed a couple of weeks later.  

Although her final years were tragic while we slowly lost pieces of the woman we’d loved, Camille was sweet most of the time and knew her family.  She still carried herself with the grace and dignity that was inherent to her character. Her great sense of humour prevailed and she could still laugh to the point of tears.  We will miss her constant presence in our lives.

But now it’s time to remember Camille for who she was her whole life, not just in the last years when she was unwell.

Camille was a beautiful woman inside and out, strong and dignified, reserved, sensitive, private, full of heart, creative, inquisitive, a searcher for spiritual wisdom, she appreciated simple pleasures and the beauty of nature, she was smart, practical and organized, committed to her family and loyal.  She could be somewhat of a loner with an artist’s temperament yet also socially engaging, friendly, outgoing, even the life of the party at times.  She could be stubborn and had strong opinions.  Doug used to say “your mother has the gift of clarity” and it was true.  She loved to share the wisdom she was gaining in her studies of new age philosophies and insights into the human condition. 

She had a unique sense of humour. If she found something funny, she would laugh until she cried, most notably at the adorable things that children would share. She had strong morals, was always clear on what was right and wrong, common courtesy and decency were critical, was always kind and considerate.  She was generous with her time and gifts, especially of money. Her grandchildren will remember all the $50 bills tucked into the Kinder surprises.  She knew the importance of family and community.

For me, she will always be the voice in my head that coaches me to be my best self, to stop stressing, to be kind to myself and others, to follow my creative urges.  Now that she is at peace, I can see her in all her stages of life, as a beautiful young mother and wife, as a talented artisan, writer, and teacher, as a loving grandmother and someone who worked hard to create positive energy in the world.  

Cory

Posted by Eden

Cory Stananought:  February 8, 1983 – April 7, 2014

Cory

Cory was my cousin.  Being almost 20 years older, I remember him as an adorable, little boy, always smiling, high energy, impish.  I know he had some troubles along the way, some issues as a teenager but many of us have to overcome growing pains…  and he certainly seemed to overcome his.  He grew into a charming, handsome, gregarious young man.  We’d see each other at family events, Christmases and birthdays and anniversaries… and he seemed to be in his element.  Happy, friendly, easy to talk to… everyone was drawn to Cory.  His smile, his eyes, his charisma drew you in.  He was interested in people.  He had interesting stories to tell.  He laughed easily and made you feel special.

When he decided to become a sommelier, we were all keen to hear about his adventures, what he was learning, what to look for in a good wine.  He loved to share his wines and we loved to drink them.  We were all so excited for Cory Cory-0033when we heard that he was accepted into the prestigious Masters of Wine program.

I don’t remember ever seeing him sad or unkind or angry but of course we all have our down times, our struggles and we don’t always want to show them to the world.  With the beautiful light that Cory projected, I wonder if there was a price to pay to keep that light shining so bright, to hide the dark thoughts.

 In this past week, hearing and reading the comments on facebook from people he touched in his life journey from so many places – Kelowna, Caledon, Camp Pinecrest, Insifil, even France from his vineyard tour – I am hearing the same things that I saw: “one of the greatest smiles I’ve ever seen“, vibrant, caring, kind hearted, exuded positive vibes, enthusiastic, giving, fun, “one of my favourite people I’ve ever met”, “an infectious laugh“, “the most genuine straight up coolest dude ever”, loving, energetic, warm, personable, “the best brother anyone could ask for”, one of the nicest guys, a zany sense of humour, wonderful with kids, the best uncle ever, charming, a very special person, truly a good spirit..

Cory touched people everywhere he went.   But now we are all shocked and saddened, trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense.  How could such a wonderful young man, with so many talents, with so much personality, with so much love to give, leave us so tragically and so suddenly?

His mother, my Aunt Rene, has asked how she can go on.  I know how close they were, how much she loved Cory.  I feel deeply for her, and for Ron, and for Ryan and the rest of the family and his many friends.  The questions haunt us.  How do we go on? How do we make sense of this?  How do we understand why?  And.. What might I have done so that he could still be with us?

In the end, we must accept that some questions in life just do not have answers.  I know we must not dwell on Cory’s tragic end but on the beautiful arc of his life, the smiles that he directed just at us and just for each of us, the loving, kind spirit that he was.  They say only the good die young.  Some spirits grace our life for a while, not forever.  We must see and remember the gift that his life was.  To honour Cory, perhaps we can smile a little more, be a little kinder, a little more sensitive to each other’s needs, understanding now that sometimes people are shouldering pain that we just don’t see. We must not blame ourselves or anyone else for his departure, we must let go of our anger and our bitter frustration at not being able to hold him down, to keep him with us.  Cory is free now, he is at peace.  I will always remember his beautiful smile and I know we will see him again someday.

(This was the speech I gave at Cory’s funeral on April 14th in Collingwood).

Ten Tips for Living a “Happy” Life

Posted by Eden

What is “happy” and is it really attainable? In this age of fast-paced, information overload, what do we really want from life?

I believe we want what people have always wanted. We want to be happy. We want to love and contribute to others. We want to be loved. We want to think we’re making a difference, that there’s a “reason” or purpose for our existence.

While some might argue that happy is an overused term and not a practical goal, let’s consider happy as being peaceful and content, as being the opposite of miserable, as being empowered to be all that we can be in life, to be able to have loving and sustainable relationships. And then, I think, everyone will agree that this is a state where we would all like to be centered. 

Based on my own personal exploration into this essential quest, I’ve summarized what I view as the Top Ten tips to a Happy Life, as taught by many of the thought leaders today who are great authors, speakers, and spiritual teachers..

TOP TEN:

1. Be Present, Be Here Now

Studies suggest we have somewhere between 12,000 to 65,000 thoughts per day, although I’ve seen reference to a wider range (between 2,000 to 600,000!). Most commonly, 50-60,000 is considered a good estimate.

Being human means being inundated with thoughts all day, every day: endless observations, judgements, interpretations, complaints, worries, ‘what-ifs’, memories, regrets, wishes, desires, dreams about our future, anger about our past, and on and on. I’ve seen statistics indicating 95% of them are similar from day to day. Some thoughts seem completely random, others can hijack us as we follow a thread and let our emotions react to what are sometimes completely irrational, twisted versions of reality. For me, it has been a major breakthrough to understand that I am NOT my thoughts. For too long, my thoughts ran me. They still try to, every single day, but I am watching them now. I used to look to my thoughts for meaning, wondering why I was suddenly upset when nothing had happened.

So how much of an average person’s thoughts are rooted in the present moment? Some suggest that the majority of our thoughts are rooted in the past (somewhere between 70 and 90%) with about 10-20% ruminating or dreaming or imagining what will happen in the future. A small percentage of our thoughts actually focus on the present moment in a purely experiential manner. Within our minds, our perception of the past, how it is affecting us now and into the future can often become warped.

Eckhart Tolle, author of “The Power of Now” and “A New Earth” and other books is a well-known speaker and teacher in this area. Tolle tells us: “Stay fully present in the now-your whole life unfolds here. In the now there is joy of Being and deep peace”.

In Deepak Chopra’s “Seven Spiritual Laws of Success”, he says that pure potentiality is pure consciousness, the field of all possibilities and infinite creativity. Meditation to connect with our inner being to be present and master our thoughts can help us to find that state of pure consciousness.

2. Your Thoughts Create your Reality

When you start to understand that you are not your thoughts, that you are a being with a powerful inner spirit that happens to also have a brain that does what brains do, non-stop generation of thoughts, you can step back and observe this and take control. Consider how you can choose how your brain operates just as you make these decisions about using your arm or your fingers or your eyes every day of your life.

The realization that you actually could control and direct your thoughts to create whatever reality you choose can open up a whole new world. If, for example, you tell yourself that you cannot succeed at something – then you probably won’t. So, the obvious question is why tell yourself that? And yet we do it all the time..

There’s so much groundbreaking work in this area over the past decade, everything from the books on the Law of Attraction (including the blockbuster work called “The Secret”) and new science indicating that thoughts are actually bits of quantum energy (see my post entitled “The Science behind the Mystery”), which opens up even more unbelievable implications for our potential capabilities if we can master our mind.

Louise Hay (founder of Hay House) is an inspiring example of this powerful concept in action. Her countless books and CD’s on Affirmations show how you can change your life by the very simple practice of constantly generating positive, life-affirming thoughts. From “Power Thoughts” by Louise Hay: “Trust life to hear and respond to your positive words. Say these affirmations every day and your whole world will change for the better.”

3. Be Grateful

Expressing gratitude, especially if you can make it a daily practice to declare everything you are grateful for in your life, can create positive self-affirming thoughts instead of negative ones and align your attention to everything that is good in your life. This alone can be transformational. Many current thought leaders and spiritual teachers encourage people to keep a gratitude journal.

If you do a search on Gratitude quotations, you will find many empowering thoughts. Here’s a few:

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” G.K. Chesterton

“God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘thank you?’ ” William A. Ward

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you’, that would suffice.” Meister Eckhart

4. Trust that the universe is unfolding as it should..

Or perhaps an easier way to say this is, Have Faith. Sometimes in our darkest hours, when nothing seems to be going as we had wanted or expected, we can’t see this. We want only to fight against what is. Everything will not always go our way but, if you trust life and let it unfold, as Mick Jagger said, “you just might get what you need”.

For some this could mean a belief in God, aligned with one of the great faith traditions, for others it might just mean knowing that there is a greater life force, that we are all a part of it, and that life will take us where we need to go if we surrender to it.

5. Practice Forgiveness

Oprah and others, have defined Forgiveness as recognizing that you can’t change the past. We hold onto a lot of resentment and in the end, who does it hurt? We hurt ourselves more than anyone else. Accepting what has happened and creating the space to move on can be a powerful step forward.

Sometimes, particularly if you have been a victim of crime or abuse, whatever happened may seem ‘unforgiveable’. In these cases, remember that forgiveness does not mean you have to let that person back into your life but it can release you from the hold that this has on you.

In other cases, we may have imagined transgressions that were in reality, minor. Caroline Myss, medical intuitive and author of a number of bestselling books including “Sacred Contracts”, outlines the common archetypes that drive our behaviours. She identifies the “Victim” as one of the four archetypes for survival which can lead you to believe that “you are always taken advantage of and it’s never your fault.” If this feels familiar, her work may be of interest.

Regardless of the situation (and many may lie in between these two extremes), if you have anger or bitterness in your heart, you must do the work needed (whatever that is for you) to let it go. It literally will suck the life out of you and can affect all your relationships. The serenity prayer from AA says it all: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.”

6. Follow your Bliss

One of Joseph Campbell’s famous quotations…

Many will say that they would love to follow their bliss but they have to pay the bills, don’t have time, it’s too late to change course, or any other number of excuses.

I would contend that for many of us, we don’t really know what our ‘bliss’ is. Of course, it seems like it must be the greener grass on the other side. Certainly, the idea of walking away from a tough job and living in luxury seems blissful – but this is not what Campbell intended.

Sometimes we need to take a hard look at our life circumstances and make adjustments along our journey. The important thing is to be conscious. Make conscious choices. Embrace work that you love. Remember, even when you’re “following your bliss”, there will be tough sledding at times. This is certainly not a free ticket to quit.

7. Choose your Life

This is another perspective on “Follow your Bliss”. Sometimes, it’s not our outside circumstances that need to change but our interior dimension.

I took a course called the Landmark Forum many years ago, and this was a key concept after three long days of workshop. It correlates back to the idea that ‘your thoughts create your reality’.

When you declare that your life, your spouse, your children, your job, your world are all exactly what you always wanted, then they will become that for you.

8. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Or, put another way: “Get over yourself”.

No one likes criticism and we all have fragile egos… but sometimes, when our thoughts hijack us, we can turn the simplest comments into conspiracy theories.

The truth is that not everything is about you, sometimes when people scowl at you, it’s because they’re unhappy inside. If a person says something to you that you don’t like, you don’t have to react in kind. In fact you may be able trigger transformation in another by not letting your ego take over, instead be present with that person and be compassionate.

Deepak Chopra asserts that “… the ego is not who we really are. The ego is our social mask, it is the role we are playing.”

If you are aware and present with people, not coloured by past injustices or imagined indignities, then you can choose to always have powerful, meaningful conversations.

Not being driven by ego takes focus, commitment, and courage…

9. We are all one

When you take steps to be present, become committed to not ‘be your ego’ or run by your thoughts, to be grateful for the people in your life, and to create your reality then you will start to sense more and more that you are not alone but a part of something much greater, the collective spirit of humanity.

Even the latest scientific breakthroughs with respect to quantum consciousness and unified field theory are demonstrating that the universe and everything in it, ourselves included, are interconnected by a vast field of energy.

In this collective space, love and contribution become natural which in turn can fuel harmony and peace in your life.

10. Conscious Evolution

Last year, I took the Evolutionary Worldview Course through Enlightennext Magazine and Andrew Cohen and later, watched the event: “A Call to Conscious Evolution, Our Moment of Choice” which was also hosted by this group. Both experiences were inspirational and eye-opening. As Deepak, one of the many renowned speakers at the Evolutionary Leaders’ event, said: “… the only way to transform the world is to transform yourself..” and “… even well-meaning activism is often coming from a place of outrage rather that creative consciousness..”

This jives with many of the teachings of Andrew Cohen and his team with respect to the evolution of our interior dimension and our culture. Our mind, our being, or our “interior dimension” as they call it have evolved just as our bodies have. They talk about 4 billion years of evolution on this planet and how we, as sentient, powerful beings, can now choose where we go from here. They ask questions like: “how does your own evolution come into the culture, into changing the world?” and “To what degree are you enabling this process of evolution through your own heroic efforts?” so that we can leave the world a better place because we were here.

Making conscious decisions everyday to feed and exercise your body for optimal health and well-being is the other side of the coin to choosing the thoughts that you feed yourself for optimal mental health and well-being.

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The “Desiderata”

Posted by Eden

This famous piece of prose insinuated itself into my psyche at an early age.  At our cottage in Huntsville, my parents hung the “Desiderata” on the wall of the main floor washroom.  So everytime I sat on the toilet as an impressionable young girl on our weekends away, I would read it and try to make sense of what it told me.  I believe my parents had become enamoured with the “Desiderata” when Pierre Elliott Trudeau shared it with Canada in one of his speeches.  It was apparently a ‘motto’ for how our former, illustrious Prime Minister carried himself in the world… and my parents were fans of Trudeau.

I forgot all about this until a couple of years ago when my son, Jordan, gave us a large poster/plague for Christmas with a picture of a waterfall and the words of the “Desiderata”.  This is now hanging in the bedroom.

It was always a mystery to me that these eloquent words of wisdom on how to move through life with grace was not credited to anyone.  The poster in our bathroom in the 70’s credited the writing to “anonymous” and the one in my bedroom does not reference an author at all.  In writing this post, I did a quick google search and discovered that it was in fact written in 1927 by American writer Max Ehrmann (1872–1945).  There was some confusion over this and due to a series of blunders, it was assumed to be written in 1692 by an unknown author and therefore copyright-free.  It wasn’t until a spoken word song was released of the “Desiderata” in the early 70’s that the family of the author was able to declare the rightful author and win royalties.

“Desiderata” is a Latin word meaning “Desired Things”.   A few choice phrases (“the universe is unfolding as it should”, “be gentle with yourself”, “keep peace with your soul”) have always resonated with me and seem ahead of their time for when this piece was written.

Here is the full prose poem:

Desiderata by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amidst the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy

Be Kind to Yourself

Posted by Susan

Too often, we are our own worst critics and we move through life feeling as if we are not doing all we ‘should’ be doing.  Susan contributed these reflections triggered after observing this trend in a couple of forty-something accomplished individuals who were struggling.

Thought for today, by Mark  Nepo:  ‘The glassblower knows:  while in the heat of beginning, any  shape is possible.  Once hardened,  the only way to change is to break.’

Once again, as with Elizabeth Lesser’s book, ‘Broken Open,’ I am reminded of how we all have parts of ourselves which seem  broken.  It’s not our downfall this  brokenness, its part of the fiber of our lives.  And it is in looking at our lives – warts and all – with compassion, that begins to make us whole. 

Paul Ferrini wrote “In each moment  we are modeling something.  Sometimes it is fear.  Sometimes it is love.  The  question is not ‘How can we get rid of our fear?’  The question is, ‘How can we hold our  fear with love?”’  If fear is the  base of our flaws, our harsh judgments of how we are broken, what better way to  heal than to hold these aspects of ourselves in love, with the same  loving kindness in our hearts that we would a small child who has made a  mistake.  We are children,  children of God, and we forget that all of us are doing the best we can at any  given moment.  The courage it takes  to pick ourselves up, forgive ourselves for whatever we perceive needs forgiving  and move on – that is the courage of a compassionate traveler in this journey to  reach our best selves.  We are all  on this path, whether we know it or not.  Each must walk at his own pace, and know that in picking up the broken  pieces we have the opportunity to create the shape of the life we genuinely  want.

Why are we here?

Posted by Eden

This question has been asked since mankind reached consciousness and it has certainly driven me forward in my life quest, in searching for meaning in life.   I think many people, regardless of religious tradition or beliefs, will generally agree that our basic goals should be to make a difference in this world and to contribute to others.

Or, in loftier terms, as I suggested in the post “Searching for Nirvana” – to find peace and love, to live in harmony, to create a better world for our children and to surpass the limits of the form we were born into, to evolve the human spirit to new heights…

But while my underlying commitment is about living my life to achieve these ideals, I find that I often fall short of them in my everyday life.  The daily grind, the limits of our human bodies, the endless chatter of our mind, the upsets and frustration we all experience (not to mention the way business and society dictate our behaviours) not only get in the way but often derail us.  So, I sometimes find myself in conflict with people (which always depresses me) and not always exuding the warmth and balance that I strive to demonstrate to others.  This, in turn, can lead to a desire to escape, to be alone, to avoid too much contact or intimacy with the other humans on the planet, lest I misbehave further… hardly an enlightened approach.

One overriding lesson I’ve learned is that it is very difficult for an unhappy, depressed, or angry person to exude warmth and love, to create a space to truly contribute to others, or as Oprah has so eloquently put it: “to be the change you want to see in the world”.  So, our number one priority must be to take care of ourselves.  Consider that if you are ‘happy’ then you are more able to be with people such that they will feel better in your presence. (The old analogy of the airline’s safety rule stating that you must put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others holds true.)  I believe the enlightened individuals on our planet, those we look up to and strive to emulate, understand this, continuing to do the work on themselves while accomplishing monumental tasks for the planet.   They have a deeper sense of their soul’s purpose.

 Speaking of giants, I came across Oprah’s Soul Series on XM Radio yesterday.  She was interviewing Brian Weiss which was a great ‘coincidence’ as I had recently read his first book ” Many Lives Many Masters: The True Story Of A Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient & The Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives”, as well as a book called “Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life between Lives” by Michael Newton, PhD.  If you haven’t read them and are open-minded (or perhaps, especially, if you are not), then I highly recommend both authors.  They are both professional therapists who have worked in the field of past-life regression for decades.  They both have a great many documented case studies of patients who have recounted stories about past lives, and even more interesting to me, the soul’s journey between lives.

The original question that I posed – “why are we here?” takes on a much deeper dimension when you consider this viewpoint.  If the heartaches and challenges and struggles of your life were actually selected especially for you (possibly by you), as lessons that you must learn, obstacles that you must overcome, on your soul’s journey, does this change your perspective?  Face them now or you’ll just come back and do it all over again. 🙂  Do the work on yourself now.  Be the best person you can be.  Contribute to the people around you with your whole heart.

Another thought-provoking angle is the idea of soul groups which means that many people closest to you have been part of your existence for many lives and beyond.  If you believe this then you can more easily accept their passing and your own when the time comes.  It also puts new meaning, for me, to the concept of contributing to others in this lifetime.  Some advanced souls may only be here for a short visit, to touch our lives, to steer us towards our life lessons.

I believe that everyone is here for a reason and that everybody begins life with something special.   To rise above our life circumstances, to be our best selves and recognize what those gifts are, is part of our quest, our life’s greater purpose.  Some are born rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, brilliant or dull, physically superior or handicapped.  Most of us are somewhere in the middle of these extremes but, regardless of our physical and situational traits, our deeper being has something more to offer in this life.  We all have a unique ability or vision to share with others that can make a difference and allow us to live a fulfilling life, to advance our soul’s journey.