It’s been a year since we lost Camille so we are gathering to share our memories. With the pandemic, most are remote via zoom and some will be together.
Camille’s sisters have shared some writings about her in the following paragraphs. Camille was the eldest of four, followed by Jane, Patti and Suzie.
Jane Eden:
Over this past year, I have thought a lot about Camille. So many memories go through my mind and I realize how much we shared over the years. When she developed Dementia, I felt like she slowly slipped away from me. It was hard to have any kind of relationship for the last few years.
She was the perfect big sister. She was smart and confident. I respected her opinion. Sometimes I felt that we were as different as night and day but I always felt that she was looking out for me the way that big sisters do.
In high school we were both athletic and on school teams in volleyball and basketball. She was a sewer, knitter and an actor on stage. She played the cello and I played the clarinet in the school orchestra. I wrote for the school newspaper and sang in the choir. And over on Gair Drive in Alderwood, there was a lot of teenage social activity at the Perry house.
I remember the early years when Eden and Randy were born and Camille and Ola lived in an apartment in Etobicoke. I was a student nurse in Woodstock. Over those 3 years, I was back and forth to Toronto, to spend a 3 month stint studying and working at the Hospital for Sick Children, studying Pediatrics. Later, another 3 month stint at the Clarke Institute of Psychiatry to study Psychiatry.
I would take the street car out to Etobicoke to visit and spend time with Eden and Randy and visit with Camille and Ola. I loved to spend time with the little ones and watch them grow and get to know them. I remember Camille the cookie maker – hermits, peanut butter, chocolate chip. She was always sweeping that kitchen floor. I sat in the kitchen and watched her spin the lettuce to dry it and make Caesar salad.
Camille was a life long learner and I loved that about her. She had knowledge and I learned. Over the years when I needed a lift or some advice or a new book to read to give me some direction, I went to Camille. She discovered the EST training (later called the Forum) and completed the programme and was transformed. Just about everybody in the family followed her example and did the programme too. We all gained from that experience, thanks to Camille.
Camille and I confided in one another and it was invaluable to me to just have someone to talk to who cared and would listen. I went through a number of relationship breakups over the years and Camille was always there to listen. Camille and I played a lot of Backgammon and Crib and just talked.
When I was going through the transitions of life and moving my home, Camille and Ola were kind enough to take me in and I lived with them for a period of time. At this point I was a single parent and I appreciated the support immensely.
Camille gave so much to her family – her time and attention, her love and she was also so generous with gifts and money to everyone.
How fortunate I was to have Camille in my life for as many years as I did.I am so grateful.
The love and support that you gave me will always be with me.
I will love you forever.
Jane
Susan James:
My thoughts have turned to Camille many many times over this past year since her death. It is hard to put into words the value of someone we have loved our whole lives – the influences on our character, the insights gained by sharing our own innermost struggles and truths with one another, the stability realized by feeling fully accepted by another. Knowing that even if you screw up, you’ll still be loved …
When I was young and restless with 2 little boys at home, Camille would always make me feel welcome to visit her. She knew I loved Toronto, loved the cultural offerings available and so when I’d go to Toronto for a few days, she would look after the kids while I went off to the theatre by myself, to take in the lively energy of the city, it’s hustle bustle, it’s beauty – these times were such a gift to me, and replenished my feeling of connection to city life. She once told me she loved seeing me in the city because it made her remember again the good things about Toronto.
Through the years Camille and I both found ourselves on a path of spiritual investigation – one which never stopped. We had great discussions and as she immersed herself in tapes and books in what was known as the New Age movement. She was endlessly generous to me, donating materials to read or listen to, exposing me to thinkers who were new to me. Neither of us felt called to follow a religious path – it was more of a quest through conscious psychology and spiritual discovery to feel the presence of the Divine in our lives. These were not mainstream ideas yet so it was very affirming to have another person with whom to share our newest thoughts and insights. She wasn’t one to preach to me, but rather taught by example, and always remaining curious, open to new ideas and possibilities. I think of her with deep gratitude as my spiritual mentor.
Certainly Camille influenced all the members of her family when she discovered The est Training, now called The Forum. It opened many to the possibilities available by shifting one’s way of looking at our lives and the lives of those around us, by recognizing the limitations of the ego and getting stuck in our individual soap operas. It was a foundational course for me. Some 35 years later I discovered Panache Desai who took much the same philosophy but incorporated the sacred with the technique. She would have been as delighted as I was to experience his teachings but by then her dementia had progressed and we could no longer have those conversations.
A beautiful quality she had which I think about often is her playfulness and sense of humour. Her laugh was infectious, and her ability to see the absurdity in life and find humour in ordinary everyday things was so refreshing and uplifting. At times when I find myself feeling blue I realize I just need to laugh more – lighten up! I believe it’s one reason she cherished all her grandchildren so much – kids naturally laugh and see humour far more easily than adults do, so she had great access to laughter through them. Each one gave her great joy.
I realize that ‘my Camille’ was different than yours. No, SHE wasn’t different, it’s just that my experience of her, my appreciation of certain aspects of her, my feelings about her were mine. Just as each of you will have your own Camille. To me she was my big sister, my friend, my mentor, my confidant, my person who I could always count on to love me warts and all. I know that each of you have your own memories and impressions, and opinions of who/what she was in your life. And they’ll all be different. But I expected one thing that isn’t, one overriding thought/feeling/memory that will be a constant among all of us: when we think of Camille, we think of love. Is there any better legacy to leave behind?